Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
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