guys are not supposed to queef...right?
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Randomize
