im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
Randomize