soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
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