you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
