I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
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