After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize
