ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
Randomize
