We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
two words...techno handjob
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
Randomize
