She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
Randomize
