What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
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