yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
So many bounce houses so little time
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
Randomize
