If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
Someone stole a lamp last night.
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
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