Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Randomize
