Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
She announced her abortion via fbk
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
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