I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
i need an iv and a liver transplant
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
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