Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
two words: eviction party
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
Randomize
