This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
Found your dick twin last night
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
Randomize
