4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize