I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
You peed on a flamingo?!?
Randomize
