that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
Randomize