that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
Randomize
