I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
