I like to think it a success when the cops are called
He uses pillows to masturbate.
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Randomize