I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
