so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
Woke up next to a tiki torch spooning a plastic flamingo on a welcome mat i've never seen before with a "happy valentines day" balloon tied to my wrist, oh yeah and "i am a cougar" is written on my chest in sharpee and all the kitchen furniture is upside down...
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
Randomize