I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
You have to summon your inner elephant
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Randomize
