Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
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