When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
I deserve to be covered in dicks
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
Randomize
