I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
Randomize
