i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
Randomize
