So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
Randomize
