none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
did you just send me my own nude
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
Randomize
