Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
i need to put some appletini on your dick
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
Randomize
