So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
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