Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
Randomize
