Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
Randomize
