i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
Already got asked if we're dating
I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize
