My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
Randomize
