i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
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