i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
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