how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
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