Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
Randomize