Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
You've changed since you got that strap on
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
Randomize
