Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
Randomize