There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
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