I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
i think im in europe. pls send help
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
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