My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
Randomize
