I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
Randomize
