Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
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