I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
Randomize
