Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
