So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
