it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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