we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
