i was rollin on her like bob the builder
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
I have feelings that need drinking.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Randomize
