My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
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