My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
Randomize
