Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
Randomize
