I only kidnapped one of them. chill
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
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