coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
Randomize