i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
Randomize
