There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
whose ass print is on the piano?
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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